Profile: Jon Ali on Confidence
Loving my body is a daily work-in-progress. It’s constant affirmation practice, really. That daily checkmark on my to-do list reminding me to be kind to myself.
My day usually starts with a good naked stretch in front of my bedroom mirror. Most of the time, I really like what I see. It’s a good place to be right now, but it certainly wasn’t always the case.
If you know of me or have seen the pictures I post, it’s pretty easy to see that I’m not shy about showing off my body. I proudly show off my ass any chance I can get. It’s an asset of mine and I’m fully aware of it. You’re all welcome.
I’m sure for some it’s easy to see it as a branding tactic or as a sexual thing, but for me it goes way beyond just that.
The way I celebrate my body now comes from a place in my life where I felt like I had to hide who I really was for a long time.
I grew up in small, prominently white suburban towns in New Jersey with a mom from Puerto Rico and a father from Peru. I’m the oldest of three. The leading example, if you will. I knew at a pretty early age that I was gay but showcasing any sort of femininity wasn’t really accepted in my very traditional Latin upbringing. I have vivid memories of my mother slapping my limp wrist and being yelled at for singing “The Boy Is Mine” out loud when I was young. As if that wasn’t already enough, I was getting picked on for the color of my skin, the shape of my nose, the way I walked and dressed from the lovely kids at school.
I was clearly different and constantly told that, so in defense, I taught myself how to hide certain aspects of my body language and personality. Like many queer people, I had to grow up playing a version of myself that wasn’t authentic to me. That shit sticks with you for a while and builds up walls.
I found a safe space on the internet when I was 16 in building my music blog Jon Ali’s Blog, which originally ran a little bit anonymously as just “Ali’s Blog.” There was no face to it; I was just blogging, and no one knew who was behind it on the internet or in real life. That wall I had built up to protect myself had even bled into this internet persona I was curating and was proud of. I had actual support and people cheering me on to keep going but even then hiding just felt like the natural option.
The cliché thing to say is that it gets better, but honestly, it’s so true. It’s not something you want to hear when you’re 16, but things do indeed change for the better when you get older.
Your perspective, relationships, ways of communicating, the company you keep around you, the way you dress, how you carry yourself, and so on. If you allow yourself to look inward and free yourself of all those walls you built up, the other side can be quite a beautiful wonderland.
If you allow them to, the things that once tore you down eventually become your strengths. Your weapons of mass impact and influence. That certainly was the case for me. I made a conscious decision one day to stop hiding and I’ve been truly living ever since.
That’s why you now see photos of me on the cover of my curated playlists. For far too long I thought a random hot muscle body should be fronting the covers of my seasonal dance playlists. Slap my logo on it - that’ll do! No. Now the playlists come with fully thought-out concepts and shoots to accompany them with me at the forefront. Why? I do it all to empower myself because for so long that voice of mine was silenced and told to hide.
I now see the brown skin that I was once ashamed of as something powerful and threatening. I see my thick-ass eyebrows as beautiful and unique. I see my curves as something to celebrate. I see my flaws as my strengths.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in what the majority of gay men or the outside world sees as an acceptable body, but I’m here to remind you that it’s all make-believe. It’s made up of fantasies and old traditional standards.
When unfriendly thoughts about you and your body come conjuring up, I encourage you all to live by the words of a certain Living Legend, Miss Britney Spears: “No thanks, I choose my own destiny.” Your world and perception of self are what you make of it babes!
I stopped apologizing for who I am long ago. I flipped it and reversed it. My body is a wonderland. Your body is a wonderland. OWN IT <3
XOXO Jon Ali
